April 18th, Aries.
socially awkward.
And this is NOT a happy blog.
1 2 3 4 5
I want all of us
and I am so exhausted
from all the waiting.
Posted 17 hours ago • 2,208 notes • viasourcereblog
I do not use the word home lightly.

So when I sigh it into the crook of your neck,

Believe that your spine is a timber frame,

Your kiss a welcome mat,

And your enveloping arms my front door
Posted 1 day ago • 42,429 notes • viasourcereblog
I feel like ripping apart my skin,
and searching for a reason for why
I feel this empty.
Maybe my veins are tangled,
or something is lodged
in my ribcage.
Because it feels like
something inside of me is
missing or broken.
— Unknown
Posted 2 days ago • 66,227 notes • viasourcereblog
Social Anxiety


There are icicles inside my chest cavity

that freeze a little harder whenever I step into a packed room.

The only way to thaw them

is by leaving.

And no one will ever know how many times I go over

and over an event after it’s happened

like Orion crosses the sky repeatedly every night,

always moving from one patch of stars to another.

There are certain avalanches that could never compare

to the shaking of my hands when I meet someone new,

or the cross-country race of my heart

whenever I’m simply invited to a party.

Inside my bones, I swear there are instruction manuals

inscribed on my marrow for how to avoid social disasters.

It’s written in my DNA.

I wish my voice knew how to sing

instead of whisper or mumble.

I wish all this anxiety were a darkness

I could actually learn to see through,

instead of some never-ending night with no electricity..

Posted 3 days ago • 1,775 notes • viasourcereblog
If you’re feeling small today I dare you to sit up straighter, look someone who scares you directly in the eye, take up room at the dinner table, make yourself bigger, when ‘sorry’ laps at the back of your tongue, tries to pick up after you, remind yourself that your existence doesn’t demand an apology, that you are allowed to make mess and take up space, do not be afraid to expand. Every single goddamn minute. Expand, expand, expand
Posted 4 days ago • 186,156 notes • viasourcereblog
The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.
— Daniell Koepke
Posted 5 days ago • 16,326 notes • viasourcereblog
Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.
— Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad
Posted 6 days ago • 1,555 notes • viasourcereblog
You’re probably going to meet someone
who reminds you of me.

Someone with the same obnoxious laugh,
who enjoys long walks and looking at the sky too much,
and the one who picks at her cuticles when she gets nervous.
And when you meet her,
your eyes are going to lock but little do you know
she’s been staring at the back of her head for so long,
hoping that a pretty blue eyed boy like you would give her
the time of the day.
You’re going to give her that smile of yours,
the one that flashes all your teeth
and makes her wish she was sitting down instead of standing
in front of you because her knees are weak,
and she doesn’t want to trip before you even say a word.
You’re going to ask her for her name
and ask if you can take her out for a ride on your Chevy truck
to a creek where your father used to take you when you were young.
And she’s going to say yes because who can resist you?
I couldn’t.
Maybe her hair will be longer and probably curlier,
or maybe she’ll be able to rock that pixie cut
I always wish I could have done but I couldn’t
because my head was too big and my face was too round.

On that date you’re going to have so much to talk about
because you were always good with small talk and deep conversations.
You will both be so drawn to each other
that you’ll forget the sun was setting
until the sky turns dark.
Then it will only be you and her, and the stars,
just the way you want it.
And she’ll look into your eyes and hope that you’ll lean in
and you’re worried that she might think you’re going a little too fast;
that was always your problem,
you never believed that someone would want you
as much as you wanted them,
but I did and so will she.

So kiss her.
I am telling you to kiss her.
Date her.
Hold her.
Love her.
I want you to love her,
but only if she loves you back.
And maybe she’ll wear glasses like I do
and have a beauty mark above her lips.
Maybe she will wear sundresses and cowboy boots often
and all she’ll own in her closet are tons of dresses.
And maybe she’ll try them all on for you.
You’re going to fall in love with her the way
you once fell in love with me and that is okay,
do not worry.

It’s going to be okay
because I have loved you once and you have loved me,
and it was quite beautiful.
And I think someone else out there deserves the love that you have;
and if we ever find each other again one day,
then I hope you love me,
Ming D. Liu"One Day, We Will Make A Second First Impression" 
Posted 1 week ago • 3,253 notes • viasourcereblog
Let’s find the places
and let’s do all of the things
we’ve waited to do.
Posted 1 week ago • 2,186 notes • viasourcereblog
I’ve got to stop putting fuel in a fire that doesn’t want to burn anymore.
— Yuki Mi, (My Love Is Tired)
Posted 1 week ago • 74 notes • viasourcereblog
Posted 1 week ago • 845,185 notes • viasourcereblog
Don’t ask for guarantees. And don’t look to be saved in any one thing, person, machine, or library. Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were headed for shore.
— Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Posted 1 week ago • 1,005 notes • viasourcereblog
Things I’d tell my past self:


1. He’s going to taste like sugared coffee
on a cold winter day in December,
listen when they tell you caffeine is addicting;
when he leaves, coffee will taste like regret.

2. Tearing yourself apart will never
put yourself back together; you will only be left
shredded like paper and you will wonder why
the wind keeps blowing your fragments away.

3. It’s okay to be the mouse in your group,
be quiet. But do not be gentle when he tries to
kiss you after you say no.

4. You can run all you want,
but you’ll never be fit enough to win the race
of outrunning your past.

5. Count your blessings like they were gold
and discard the bad like it was trash.

6. You are only human and your heart will flutter
when he smiles and you will fail that consumer’s ed
test that everyone else passes and you’re going
to hate physics and life is going to keep coming at you
like the kids in your P.E class during dodgeball,
even after your knees are bruised from falling,
but no matter what
do not ever
be afraid
to be human.

Posted 1 week ago • 31 notes • viasourcereblog
I sank so you could swim.
— 6 Word Poem 
Posted 1 week ago • 3,078 notes • viasourcereblog
Letter to the Heart When it Wants to Stop Beating


You are not a piece of land to be split into acres or provinces

that can be easily sold off to the highest bidder.

Instead, you are here to stay, no matter how much

every pulse of blood feels like an anxiety attack

or a sledgehammer tearing down a dilapidated building

covered in peeling paint and cobwebs.

There’s a reason Noah’s ark stayed afloat during the flood:

because it was filled with animals whose hearts

were so clear and light that they buoyed up the ship

through even the heaviest and darkest of waters.

You don’t have to be a carbon copy of those other hearts,

or even made of carbon: just be the best you can be,

made of silver slowly making its way into gold

that someone else will want to spend ages panning through.

If you try to take a nap now, you’ll never want to wake up,

or want to see what the world is like at 3AM

when everyone else is asleep but somehow

you are still able to see in the dark.

Posted 1 week ago • 1,140 notes • viasourcereblog